During the early years of our marriage, my wife worked at a florist shop and I worked at the local YMCA. One of my jobs was driving the van around to the various daycare facilities to pick up the children and bring them back to the YMCA for basic water safety classes. After picking up a particularly energetic group one day, I decided to play a game in an attempt to channel their energy in a more constructive fashion. As I pulled up to a red light, I asked the group" what does a red light mean?". In unison they all yelled "STOP".... " Nice job", I told them. When the light turned green, they were even more enthusiastic in yelling "GOOOOOOO...". We proceeded down the street and approached the next light. As the van got closer, the light turned yellow and I was greeted by the loudest response yet as every voice screamed, "SPEED UP!!!"........
Our lives are, in many ways, defined by how we respond to the yellow lights we encounter. Yellow lights are by their very definition warnings. As one who has spent his entire adult life working in some capacity with youth, I look back and hear within the majority of my messages a call to heed the warnings in our life. And yet, I am constantly shocked by the human capacity to believe that the warnings of life are not intended for us.
A few months ago, shortly after I ushered my teenage children out the
door to school, my wife and I were about to relax with coffee when my
phone vibrated in my pocket. It was one of my youth group kids who had
over slept and missed his bus. We got in the van and headed out to give
him a ride in the early morning chill. After picking him up, we were
heading back into town when we were forced to stop by the presence of a
local police car parked across the road. The officer pointed us onto a
detour and we went on our way. After dropping off my friend, we went
home and hopped on Facebook in order to see if there were any news as to
why that portion of road in town was closed. We went on the police
page and were surprised to find that a grenade had been found on the
sidewalk. The bomb squad arrived on the scene and took care of the
issue in short order. But it got me thinking...Why did I follow the
police officers directives to take another route? Because he had seen the danger which lay directly ahead...
And that is why we warn those we love, because danger lies ahead. As a father, I stand in the road and point my children to the path away from danger. I monitor their facebook and twitter and point them away from hurtful words and dangerous interactions. I love them enough to risk their anger as I give them curfews and limit the time spent with certain friends. " Nothing good happens after midnight" is a refrain my children can recite at any given time, usually with a roll of their eyes. But I have seen too many people become injured, both emotionally and physically , by the decisions of the fools they associate with to allow those I love to pass around my figure in the road and head towards the grenade. Because I have seen the grenade, I stand firm in the middle of their path and warn them. But do I have the credibility necessary for them to heed my pleas?
Those children in that van those many years ago were only reciting what they had been taught. Not by the words spoken by their parents, but by the actions displayed by them.
A mother tells her daughter she is beautiful just the way God created her but then constantly hates her own body, even though she is built the same way...
A father tells his daughter she should wait til marriage before having sex but never hugs her, denying her the affection she so desperately craves from him....
A father tell his children that all people should be treated with respect but uses words and slang that devalues particular groups...
A coach tells his players that integrity is to be valued but looks the other way at the behavior of star players...
We so often tell our family and friends that we would die for them, but do we have the courage and selflessness to live for them, to become examples of lives lived well?
Most of us have heard the saying to "practice what we preach", but most people are not aware that is was Jesus who first spoke it, to the religious leaders whose words did not match their behaviors. Lately I have heard and seen words and actions within my children that I despise. I despise them because I realize they are simply living what I modeled. And that awareness has driven me to my knees to pray...for forgiveness, for healing, for help...Help in becoming the father they deserve, the friend my friends deserve, the pastor my church deserves..
On that chilly day, I took the detour because I trusted the officer. If we want those in our lives to heed our warnings, we need to be trustworthy, to possess integrity. I have seen the danger ahead, I desperately want people to avoid the paths which lead to destruction. Do I possess the credibility within my own life to point them to the paths which lead to blessings, to Gods plan to give them a hope and a future?
It is a humbling question, but one I pray none of us shy away from. The stakes are too high and the consequences too real.
Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.
Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is a highway to the grave,
leading down to the chambers of death.-Proverbs 7:24-27
