Football, Kids and Matching trousers

The pre-game prayer

I'm a football coach.  Over the past 13 years, I have had the privilege to coach every age group from 5th grade to high school varsity.  This year I took over the junior high program with my primary responsibility being serving as the Head Coach of the 8th grade team.  Since mid-August, we have been preparing for our first game, sweating through wind sprints beneath the hot sun, the sound of pads popping on late afternoons. Excited parents attended practices, the air rich with expectation and possibility.  The team has some talent, kids who love the game and have been blessed with the ability to match their passion.  Yesterday, the kids put on their scarlet and white uniforms and boarded the bus for our first game.  I sat in my customary spot on the first row of the bus, feeling good in my coordinated coaching gear; red, white and black, even down to my shoes.  I had ordered new hats and shirts for the coaching staff and dictated that black slacks be worn so that we looked sharp.  We drove the hour and a half to the game, excited to play beneath the lights on a beautiful turf field.  As the sun went down and the lights came on, we came together on the field, clapping and barking.  I gave an emotional speech about relishing the moment, playing to the best of your ability.  the whistle blew, the kickoff sailed through the air.......And we lost 33-0.

I'm a youth pastor.  Over my adult life, I have had the privilege to serve as a juvenile counselor for kids who have been damaged by life and loved ones.  I have been in the living rooms of families dealing with tragedy and been at the altar as a child I ministered to as a teen has asked me to be a part of their wedding day.  My wife and I have held teenagers in our arms on our couch as they collapsed beneath the shame and regret of a decision they can never take back.  I have given my Sundays, Wednesdays, Mondays as an investment in the lives of those I feel are so precious to God.  I have driven miles to sit and sweat in gyms so that a kid on a bench can look in the stands and feel support.  I have crowded into swimming pools thick with humidity and humanity so that a teenager, shaved hairless and stuffed into a speedo can introduce me to his parents and give me an uncomfortable wet hug.  I have sat and listened to parents as they wept over a child and rejoiced with them years later as their child found Christ.

Last night, as the bus travelled through the darkness, I sat alone in the front row and wondered what went wrong. I had let down the kids, their parents.  I texted my wife and kids the game results and responded to the encouraging texts from parents with a cheerfulness which I did not feel.  My matching ensemble gave me no comfort in the aftermath of such a beating.  After I got home, I sat alone in the living room and replayed the game; what could I have done differently?!..Around midnight, I threw my color coordinated black slacks in the hamper and trudged off to bed.


This morning, I walked into the church office still embarrassed about my failure to win an 8th grade football game.  Before I could make it to my office, my co-workers asked how the game went.  I recounted how I had lost, the kids played listless, we missed tackles and blew assignments.  My mood was evident as they listened to my sad tale.  Our office manager listened the entire time with a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.   As I finished, she said, " Well, you might want to hear this...She told me how she had went on a walk with the mother of one of my players last night and recounted the question the mom had asked her, "Do you know Don Knight?” I told her I did and that I didn’t care for him…..just kidding…..anyway she went on to say that it was an answer to prayer and a relief to know that her junior high son was being coached by a “real man” who would teach him not only football, but what good men look like....

It is so easy to be distracted from our calling, to let the enemy conspire with our flesh to make us doubt the role we play as believers.  We are more than coaches, or teachers, or businessmen and loggers.  We are ministers of the Gospel.  Both in word and deed, we have an impact upon every individual that crosses our path.

I'm a football coach. I'm a minister...So are you.

Sunday Morning: The Stories You Never Hear

Somewhere this weekend, these are the stories a visitor to your church will not tell you.....

"I made the decision this week to visit your church.  My life is so hard right now.  Everything is going wrong.  Over the past year, my marriage has crumbled.  This past month, my husband moved out.  He told me that he had never even loved me.  How can a person say that?!  We have three beautiful children and now I'm supposed to tell them their parents are getting a divorce?...  It breaks my heart.  I can see they are trying to not make me sad, but I can feel their pain.  I'm so scared. "


"I came to your church this past week.  It was all I could do to stay in the service.  I haven't been in church for over a year, my wife was too sick.  The cancer came on last year and within a year she was gone.  Everywhere I go there are reminders of her.  Her clothes are still in our closet,  the bathroom is filled with her makeup, her hair stuff.  The house smells like the lotion she wore, her perfume...  I haven't slept in our bed since she passed.  I sleep on the couch if I sleep at all.  I find myself talking to her in the kitchen and then realize she's not here.  And then at church, it happened again.  You took an offering.  For 30 years, my wife wrote our tithe check every month.  When I saw the bag coming down the aisle, it all hit me again.  She is gone.  And I am so lonely."


"I visited your church last Sunday.  I had seen all the verses and quotes that so many of your church goers posted on Facebook so I figured I'd give it a try.  I have a really hard time around people.  I just feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me.  Its hard to make a mistake in a small town.  I feel like everyone knows what I did and is talking about me behind my back.  After the affair, I tried to stay away from people.  It was so hard.  I lost my kids, my home, even most of my friends stopped coming around.  But this past week, I saw those verses on Facebook and something happened inside of me. I wanted...something.  When I got to your church, I walked alone into your lobby.  All around me, people were talking with their friends.  A man said hello and gave me a bulletin and then resumed talking with his buddy.  I overheard something about football.  I went into the sanctuary and sat alone.  A few people smiled at me as they walked by.  You guys sang some songs, but I felt self conscience sitting alone.  When the pastor told people to say hi to people, the couple with their kids in front of me turned and awkwardly said hello.  I didn't know it would be the last time anyone spoke to me that Sunday.  After the service, I tried to say hello to the pastor, but he was laughing with someone up front.  I walked out of the sanctuary and had to navigate around groups of people talking to their friends.  I walked alone to my car and drove home.  What do I do now?"






‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ³⁸ And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ³⁹ When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ ⁴⁰ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

40 Pieces of Fatherly Advice

  In my minds eye, my children are still little, playing with their bikes and stuffed animals, bringing me Dr.Seuss books to read at bedtime while they snuggle close against my shoulder.  They used to drop everything and run to meet my car when I pulled into the driveway.  Now my oldest is driving my car. My daughter entered high school today.  My first born only has two more years before he heads out to college and my baby boy hits junior high next year.  The time has flown by. I sound like all the fathers who went before me as I ask people, "Where did the time go?!".  But within my melancholy lies a deeper question...Have I taught them what they need to know?  I'm not sure, so here is a partial list.....

1.Your direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.
2. Never burn your bridges
3. Keep your receipts.
4. Look people in the eye when you have a conversation.
5. Remember to eat at the table, those are the meals you remember.
6. Always speak clearly at the drive-thru.
7. That horrible haircut that stressed you out?  You will laugh about it later.
8. TATTOOS ARE PERMANENT!
9. Treasure your time with your siblings...I know, I know, just trust me....
10. Get off the computer, stop texting and go play catch outside.
11. That one person who always tells you the truth, even when it hurts, is your best friend.
12.Josie...Boys are stupid.
13. Jesus loves everybody...Treat them accordingly.
14.  The only way to avoid a broken heart is to never love anything.
15. Others are looking to you for strength, stand firm for what you believe. You may find out years later that you made a difference in someones life.
16. Never lie to yourself, ask God to search your heart, and listen for His response.
17. Spencer... Girls want to be treasured, not groped.  Be a Godly example for all of them, not just your girlfriend.
18. Theres no such thing as " Easy Payments"!
19. Never be afraid to take the last shot.
20. Its true, always wear clean underwear, you just feel better.
21. That person mocking you for your beliefs wished that they felt as strongly about something.  Years from now they will tell you they always respected you....Don't let them down.
22. Josie..Every boy thinks he's the hero of his story.
23. Josie and Spencer...You are the heroes of your little brothers story.
24. Always use your gifts to lift others up, never to push them down.
25. There will come a time when you must bear the consequences of following your conscience. Do so without complaint.
26. I'm sorry, but one day you will act just like me...Again, I'm sorry.
27. Watch old married couples who hold hands.  They will teach you more about love than a lifetime of sappy songs and facebook quotes.
28. No matter where, no matter when, your dad will come get you if you need him.
29. Spencer, one day you will marry someone like your mother...And be blessed because of it.
30. Turn up the music, laugh and dance with your Dad....
31. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.
32. Have at least one great pair of jeans.
33. Only date those people who already have what you're looking for. Don't expect to change those who don't.  It may be you who changes.
34. Learn at least one cool skill; spinning a ball, juggling, armpit noises, anything that will surprise your kids later.
35. Seek the career that honors your unique design.
36. Go to college
37. Know that your Dad made many mistakes, but marrying your mother was the smartest thing he ever did.
38. Life is hard, people are difficult.  How you respond is your choice, not their fault.
39. Get a dog, give him a cool name...Like Tebow.
40. Never ever use money to measure wealth!