Shackled By Shame

I heard a story as a child of a Mafia Don.  He was offering " protection " to several businesses in the city but was having trouble with his collections as the local police would pick up his collectors and easily get the information from them regarding  the payments and the whereabouts of the money.  After much deliberation, he decided to hire a deaf mute named Tony to pick up the cash from the various businesses.  His thinking was that if Tony were ever picked up by the police, they would have a difficult time extracting information from him.  So Tony began  picking up the payments for the Mafia Don from the numerous businesses he was extorting.  Day after day, Tony made his rounds.  At the end of the first week, as Tony was preparing to take the money to the Don, he counted the cash and discovered he was holding over half a million dollars.  Feeling greedy, he hid the money where only he could find it and began to plan his getaway. But the Don, becoming nervous when Tony had been late in delivering the money, had sent his henchmen to find him.  They quickly located him and brought him to the Mafia Don.  The Don summoned an interpreter from his gang and had him sign to Tony," Where is my money?".  Tony signed back," What money?".  The interpreter told the Don, " He says 'what money?'".  The Don pulled a pistol from his jacket, pointed it and shot a vase sitting inches from Tonys head. He then put the pistol in Tony's ear and told the interpreter, " Ask him again".  Again, the interpreter signed to Tony, " Wheres the money?".  Quickly, Tony's hands began to fly through the air.  " The money is hidden in Central park 100 paces from the big oak tree at the northern entrance.  There you will find a rose bush.  Behind it are three rocks pointing east.  Walk 10 paces to a large metal garbage can and lift it.  The money is buried there in a small canvas backpack".  With that, Tony's hands fell into his lap and he slumped in his chair.  The interpreter paused for a moment, turned towards the Don and told him, " He says you don't have the guts to pull that trigger"....

While this story never fails to elicit chuckles, it demonstrates a larger point.  A lie believed is as powerful as the truth. So many of us live out our days believing lies that steal the fullness of joy promised in Jesus.  Many of these untruths are spoken in the tapes that replay within our own heads. For many of us, it is our past failures that haunt our thoughts and speak a lie into our lives.  For others of us, it is our present pain that becomes our focus.  As the tape in your head plays on and on, nothing less than your very self-identity is at stake.  You see, the question at hand is this; Are you a product of your sins, your failures, your pains? Do they define who you are? Or... Are are you something much, much greater?

Many of us live our lives imprisoned by shame and guilt; shame over the the things we have done and the things done to us, guilt over our inability to be who we want to be.  If left unchecked, our guilt slowly becomes our identity, and we die slowly and privately, shackled by our shame. But to hide our shame is to embrace a lie. Shame over a behavior is a call to repent.  Romans 6:14 tells us that "Sin shall not be master over you".  Hiding our shame is to believe that the grace God promises, while available to others,  is not sufficient to redeem our sin.

Tragically, there is another type of shame too many of us carry around.  It is a burden not of our own making.  It is the shame of the victim, it is false shame.  Those wounded by the actions of others are in their own battle for their identity as their self-worth is distorted by the lie, that they are what has been done to them.   The abandoned spouse, the abused child, they often keep their pain secret.  But it keeps them from genuine relationships as they live without a true sense of who they are in Christ.

BUT...You are not what you have done nor what others have done to you.  God doesn't love you because you deserve it.  Nor does He love you because its just what He does.  He loves you because its who He is.  And because of that, we can take our shame and guilt, without fear, and lay them at the cross.  But many of us have lived with shame or guilt for so long that removing it leaves us struggling to know who we are apart from it.  Well, let me summarize....

You are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are His masterpiece, a poem.  He sings over you, a child of the living God.  You are a light on a hill , salt to the earth. You are saved through the limitless love of God!  You are a new creation( 2 Cor. 5:17)
We are not imprisoned, we are empowered to break down every stronghold whether they be past pains or present addictions.  

" For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things to come, nor powers, nor heighth, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God!"- Romans 8:38


“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go Gods love for us does not.” - C.S. Lewis

Tokyo Rose Whispers in Your Ear

During World War II, American GI's stationed in the Pacific were living and fighting in strange and inhospitable conditions.  Dense jungle foliage, thick muggy air and the ever present hum of insects with a taste for blood were the backdrop of their lives as they fought bloody battles against a brutal enemy.  With an average age of 26 years old, these American soldiers had left girlfriends, wives and new families behind.  Careers, just begun, were abandoned as they were sent thousands of miles away and placed in harms way.  There, lonely, homesick and longing for something familiar, they gathered in groups around a radio and searched the dial for sounds reminiscent of the life they had left at home.  And they found them, for deep within the South Pacific, their hungry ears were treated to the sound of American music.  Song after song would crackle from the radio, taking them back, in their minds, to the warm embrace of home, the voices of their loved ones filling their thoughts. But then... Another voice began to speak.  This lovely, lilting female voice began to make suggestive comments about what their wives and girlfriends were doing back home without them. She referred to the GI's as the "Orphans of the Pacific" and lamented the tragedy of their plight.  While they were valiantly fighting, she told them,  those men too scared to fight were at home taking their women, their jobs, their futures.   Furthermore, this seductress even seemed to know the locations of key American ships and troops.  This temptress urged them to abandon the lost cause.  The GI's named this voice Tokyo Rose.

Over the years, I have seen men abandon the brides of their youth for a momentary affair.  I have seen women run off with a co-worker, leaving their families adrift and broken.  I have witnessed children turn to drugs and alcohol to escape the harsh realities of life.  I have seen ministers caught in financial immorality.
 I have also seen people leave the church and their faith over the pain delivered upon them by other people.  I have seen marriages crumble and the participants abandon their faith, angry at God.  I have watched as people have slowly slipped into bitterness and rage over the tragedies in their lives. All of these scenarios, seemingly so different, had a common thread.  They believed the lies.

Those individuals who made decisions which led to relational tragedy believed the lie that they should focus upon themselves, their needs, their wants, their desires, their happiness. Those who abandoned the faith did not believe that God could bring about healing, thereby believing the lie that He doesn't care.  What they did not believe was the truth.  And what is the Truth?

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."-John 10:10...The truth is, Christ offers a life of blessings greater than your petty desires could ever deliver...

"For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope".- Jeremiah 29:11.. You see,  God does care.  He cares intimately about your life and has plans to bring prosperity into it despite the wounds which this world delivers..

Yet even as I write this, I am struck by my own inadequacies,  the mistakes I have made.  A voice, much like Tokyo Rose crackling from that radio, assails me with doubts. It vies for my attention as the enemy of my soul conspires with my flesh to undermine my determination to hold true to Gods promises.  Does He love me?  Will He bless me?  Can I trust Him when all seems lost?  The seductress in my ear tells me no.  She whispers that He has left me.  But is that the truth?  As it turns out, Tokyo Rose had no real information about troops or ships.  She was the desperate brainchild of an enemy who knew the power of the force it faced.  And so it is with the father of lies.  As he whispers falsehoods into our ears, tempting and seducing, the greatest weapon we have is the truth....

And I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war. ¹² His eyes are a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems; and He has a name written on Him which no one knows except Himself. ¹³ He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God.- Revelation 19:11-13



We win.....

Choosing to Weep

Some years ago, my wife and I were going through a period where it seemed as if every phone call or conversation brought fresh news of some tragedy or relational failing in the lives of people we cared about.  During that time, I was teaching a class on Wednesdays at our church on various Old Testament books.  The majority of the attendees were older than myself, many of them in their retired years.  At the end of one particular evening, I asked for prayer as I felt that our community was under a unique attack from the enemy.  I was feeling overwhelmed by the weight of so many stories of hurt and loss, the likes of which I had never previously experienced.  We prayed as a class and then milled about in conversation as people began to move towards the door.  One older gentleman approached me and put his arm around me in a hug.  As the others trickled out of the classroom, he shared that what I was experiencing was not unique, nor was it new, I was just getting older.

When my wife and I got married, many of our friends were in the same season of their lives.  We all entered this exciting time with visions of how our futures would unfold.  In our dreams, our kids were always healthy, our jobs fulfilling and our marriages strong.  But over the years, our best plans were often sidetracked.  Many of my friends gave themselves over to sin, costing them their families.  Others were forced to come to grips with the reality of sick children and the uncertain futures they must now face.  Even others worked long hours and made plans to become financially secure only to discover that their security disappeared seemingly overnight.   As my older friend lovingly shared with me that night  in an empty church classroom, the passing years have simply provided me more opportunities  to witness peoples pains and failings.  But my friend went on to share that as I became older, perhaps even wiser, I would find that my response to these tragedies would change. 

Early in our marriage, the news of peoples personal failings would prompt me to condemn them.  " How could they?!" was a common response, followed closely by " I would never!"...Over the years, I have rushed to share someones failings with others under some thinly veiled pretense or another.  Looking back, pointing out their mistakes was easier than looking at my own.  The more public the failing, the better to make me feel superior as it was played out in every corner of our small community.  As it turned out, focusing on their failings was easier than focusing on my own desperate need for grace.

But my friend was correct.  As my body has changed over the years, so has my response to the failings in the lives of others.  My heart breaks with the news of a family in the throes of pain and shame.  My heart breaks when I consider a spouse dealing with the fallout of decisions not their own.  My heart breaks over the news of relationships hanging by a thread.  And  the more public their failing, the more fervently I pray for God to provide strength...  I choose to weep alongside them..

15Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.   ¹⁶Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.  Romans 15-16


I see within other peoples struggles and failings the overwhelming Grace of God in my own life, poured out so freely while I did not deserve it.  In light of that, I realize my own brokenness as I see it in others.  How then can I feel superior, "haughty"? With the memory of my own failings, I weep for their pain. With the knowledge of the grace I so desperately needed,  I pray for their restoration. 

¹ Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. ² Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:1-2