Some years ago, my wife and I were going through a period where it seemed as if every phone call or conversation brought fresh news of some tragedy or relational failing in the lives of people we cared about. During that time, I was teaching a class on Wednesdays at our church on various Old Testament books. The majority of the attendees were older than myself, many of them in their retired years. At the end of one particular evening, I asked for prayer as I felt that our community was under a unique attack from the enemy. I was feeling overwhelmed by the weight of so many stories of hurt and loss, the likes of which I had never previously experienced. We prayed as a class and then milled about in conversation as people began to move towards the door. One older gentleman approached me and put his arm around me in a hug. As the others trickled out of the classroom, he shared that what I was experiencing was not unique, nor was it new, I was just getting older.
When my wife and I got married, many of our friends were in the same season of their lives. We all entered this exciting time with visions of how our futures would unfold. In our dreams, our kids were always healthy, our jobs fulfilling and our marriages strong. But over the years, our best plans were often sidetracked. Many of my friends gave themselves over to sin, costing them their families. Others were forced to come to grips with the reality of sick children and the uncertain futures they must now face. Even others worked long hours and made plans to become financially secure only to discover that their security disappeared seemingly overnight. As my older friend lovingly shared with me that night in an empty church classroom, the passing years have simply provided me more opportunities to witness peoples pains and failings. But my friend went on to share that as I became older, perhaps even wiser, I would find that my response to these tragedies would change.
Early in our marriage, the news of peoples personal failings would prompt me to condemn them. " How could they?!" was a common response, followed closely by " I would never!"...Over the years, I have rushed to share someones failings with others under some thinly veiled pretense or another. Looking back, pointing out their mistakes was easier than looking at my own. The more public the failing, the better to make me feel superior as it was played out in every corner of our small community. As it turned out, focusing on their failings was easier than focusing on my own desperate need for grace.
But my friend was correct. As my body has changed over the years, so has my response to the failings in the lives of others. My heart breaks with the news of a family in the throes of pain and shame. My heart breaks when I consider a spouse dealing with the fallout of decisions not their own. My heart breaks over the news of relationships hanging by a thread. And the more public their failing, the more fervently I pray for God to provide strength... I choose to weep alongside them..
15Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Romans 15-16
I see within other peoples struggles and failings the overwhelming Grace of God in my own life, poured out so freely while I did not deserve it. In light of that, I realize my own brokenness as I see it in others. How then can I feel superior, "haughty"? With the memory of my own failings, I weep for their pain. With the knowledge of the grace I so desperately needed, I pray for their restoration.
1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:1-2
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